Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Best of Winter Jam pics
Okay, so these are my favorite out of the 100 or so pics i took last night- if you wanna see the rest of the top tier, head on over to my Flickr page.
Myself and Jason Castro- you might know him from American Idol. incredibly talented and incredibly sweet and doing great things for the Kingdom. :-)
Me outside the arena, waiting to get in- this is the first pic where i can see my weight loss!
Duncan Phillips workin the crowd like only he can. SO much energy and joy in that guy!
Dove award nominated Chris August came out to mingle with us while we were in line!
Duncan and I- Squizz gives the best hugs- not those limp half hugs but full warm bear hugs that let you know he loves you for real!
Newsboys Show #1
Newsboys Show #2
Newsboys Show #3!Newsboys Show #4Winter Jam 2011
WOW. amazing day yesterday. it started with a fantastic fifth anniversary celebration service at church, and continues with Winter Jam 2011, which was, without exaggeration one of the best experiences of my life- even better than last year, which i thought would be hard to beat. :-)
Let me start by explaining something to the few of you reading this who may not know. Newsboys is my favorite band, but saying that doesn't go far enough. i was about 10 the first time i heard their music, and 12 when i REALLY started listening to them. i also accepted Christ that same summer, and i don't think it's really any coincidence that from that point on they have been the single greatest influence and source of encouragement for my faith walk. I've known and love lots of great Christ followers in the past 16 years, but consistently this band and its music has been SO integral to my growth and strength. their albums have come out in perfect timing, providing a lyrical match for what is going on in my life in ways that blow my mind. i've seen them in concert over a dozen times, and every time it renews me. there have been lineup changes, but the message and the music has never ceased to grab me at my core. in addition to the music, these men have shown themselves to be the real deal in countless ways. who they are as men of God is something that has made me feel a bond with them that kinda surpasses fandom. Oh, i'm a huge fan, but it;s more than that. it sounds silly maybe, but i love and pray for these guys like they are family- because, in christ, they are- and i know God is using them in so many lives.
Last year i got to meet newsboys for the first time as an adult, and HO BOY was i giddy (imagine meeting your personal hero and your favorite celebrity of all time- now imagine they are one person- that;s waht this was for me). it was still a great experience though and all 4 guys were very patient and Jody and Duncan in particular were super sweet to me. This year, i was determined not to act a fool and jsut enjoy whatever moments i got to talk to these men.
So, that all established, let's rewind to when we got to Va Beach....
We arrived at my parents' house to pick up my sister Melissa, her boyfriend Jeff, and BFF Abby, almost exactly when we hoped to, and were out the door very quickly and efficiently. WIN! When we got downtown, Scott dropped us all off to go get in line, while he parked. there were no real lines yet, so we just plopped down as close to the barriers where the lines *would* be as we could. it was only about 2:30 when we got there, so we had a solid 2 hour wait till the doors would open. This was the first time Scott and i had met Jeff, and we both took an instant liking to him, and i have to say, seeing my beloved and precious sister so happy just filled me with joy. Plus, the kid was incredibly patient with my hyperactive newsboys prattle. :-)
Sidewalk Prophets and Chris August came out around 4 to mingle with the fans, and i i met the former and got pics with the latter. at 4:30, they let us in, and we grabbed seats that turned out to give us an absolutely perfect view of everything. WIN!
The show started at 5, with Jason Castro, of American Idol fame. his set was shot and sweet, and i enjoyed it. i love this guy on Idol, and i was so excited to see him in this setting. immediately after Jason finished, they called for the youth ministry folks to come to the meeting. this was my chance to give Duncan the hat i had crocheted him as a birthday gift, and i was really excited. at the beginning of the meeting, Tony Nolan spoke, then Jason Castro came in and thanked us for what we do, and was jsut a really sweet guy. when he finished, he sweetly took a picture with me and gave me a hug. :-) Next was Jon Micah from Kutless, who seemed SO accessible and again thankful for what we do. hearing that from these artists, means a lot. i got a pic with him too. David Crowder came in and shared similar stuff and again i was humbled- i am soooo thankful for these guys and their ministries, and it is so cool to hear that they are thankful for me too! Then...
Duncan slipped in the door i was (convieniently) standing by- All sunglasses, smiles, and joyful energy. i touched him on the arm and whispered "Duncan!" he turned, threw his arms around me and whisper shouted! "Hey Mae!!! How ARE you, Sweetheart? SOOOOOO good to SEE you!!! Look at YOU!" i told him my shirt had come just in time and he was thrilled, and then i gave him the hat. HE LOVED IT! He laughed at the mohawk, was touched that i;d made it for him, and hugged me another 3-4 times before jumping on the lil stage to talk to the group. i video'd his hilarious and charismatic speeh- then he got off stage, posed for pics with me, "Oh yes! we Have to do this!" after seeing the pic "OH! THAT is MONEY! Look at us!!!" Hugged me super close again, and was off! It was probably less than 2 minutes of contact with him but that man showed me so much love in that time- and THAT is why i love him and his band. i listnened, swathed in a pink glow of contentment and excitement to the rest of the meeting, and then fushed back to my seat to enjoy the concert. i had missed part of Red, which was a bummer, but when i told Scott how it had gone with Duncan, he hugged me tight cuz he knew how much it all meant.
Red was great. KJ 52 was the emcee for the night, and all his interludes were fantastic. I think newsong was up next, and tough they are not my favorite, i think they put on an very enrgetic show. Tony Nolan spoke, and then Francesca Battisteli took her turn. i REALLY enjoyed her. Next was David Crowder Band. i think this tied with the next act for my second favorite of the night. there was an talk about sponsoring children, then an intermission. After intermission was Kutless. this set, like Crowder's was absolutely perfect. Just wonderful. then- FINALLY it was time for my Newsboys.
This set was everything i'd hoped and waited for. they sang almost all songs from the new album, and their entrance was to die for. These guys have always been known for their stage shows, and the current one has kicked it up soooo many notches! i'll probably be posting video in the coming days, but here is a teaser- straight from the lips of Duncan: "at one point, the whole band will be flying around the arena!"
The MOMENT they left the stage, i booked it over to get in line for autographs. i was fairly close to the beginning of the line, which was good, cuz we had to get some rest before an early start to get home today. When i got up to the table, i saw Jeff Frankenstein (yup, real name) yawning. i realized yet again how worn out these guys must get on the road. i said "aww, Jeff, you look, so tired!" he said "really? thanks...i guess i am a little tired..." (i hope i didn't irritate him, i was jsut tryin to be sympathetic...) then i moved on to Duncan, who, when he saw me said "Awww.... here coumes Trouble!!!", Grabbed my hand in both his, said "How was it, Darling?", to which i responded "AMAZING- as ALWAYS!" and he grinned at me and said "Good, thank you SO much for coming out, and have a GREAT night, okay?" before moving on to the girls behind me. Now- came something else i was excited for- i had brought Jody Davis' solo album with me, and i was thrilled to put it in front of the soft spoken and incredibly kind guitarrist. he was really happy to see it, and elbowed Michael Tait next to him to show him. Michael kinda teased him a little, and i reminded them that a similar moment had played out last year when i mentioned having the album. Michael muttered something about "shoulda brought my album too!" what i didnt notice, was that as i was chatting with Jody, michael SIGNED the album- when i looked down to pick up both CDs, i said "Michael Tait! you signed Jody's CD!!!!" to which he responded with a shrug "I dont mind!" Jody turned his head and gaped at him. i didnt wanna be a hog, so i said "i love you guys, thanks SO much! goodnight!" to which they all responded "Night!" Yeah... i love my Newsboys... and i'm thinking next time i'll take Michael's solo album for him to sign- and get Jody to sign that too. jsut to make it fair. ;-)we got to hang out with my mom a little while when we got back, wich was good. amazingly i was able to sleep after all that somehow, and we woke early to get home at 8:30 this morning.
Pictures will be posted SOON!
Let me start by explaining something to the few of you reading this who may not know. Newsboys is my favorite band, but saying that doesn't go far enough. i was about 10 the first time i heard their music, and 12 when i REALLY started listening to them. i also accepted Christ that same summer, and i don't think it's really any coincidence that from that point on they have been the single greatest influence and source of encouragement for my faith walk. I've known and love lots of great Christ followers in the past 16 years, but consistently this band and its music has been SO integral to my growth and strength. their albums have come out in perfect timing, providing a lyrical match for what is going on in my life in ways that blow my mind. i've seen them in concert over a dozen times, and every time it renews me. there have been lineup changes, but the message and the music has never ceased to grab me at my core. in addition to the music, these men have shown themselves to be the real deal in countless ways. who they are as men of God is something that has made me feel a bond with them that kinda surpasses fandom. Oh, i'm a huge fan, but it;s more than that. it sounds silly maybe, but i love and pray for these guys like they are family- because, in christ, they are- and i know God is using them in so many lives.
Last year i got to meet newsboys for the first time as an adult, and HO BOY was i giddy (imagine meeting your personal hero and your favorite celebrity of all time- now imagine they are one person- that;s waht this was for me). it was still a great experience though and all 4 guys were very patient and Jody and Duncan in particular were super sweet to me. This year, i was determined not to act a fool and jsut enjoy whatever moments i got to talk to these men.
So, that all established, let's rewind to when we got to Va Beach....
We arrived at my parents' house to pick up my sister Melissa, her boyfriend Jeff, and BFF Abby, almost exactly when we hoped to, and were out the door very quickly and efficiently. WIN! When we got downtown, Scott dropped us all off to go get in line, while he parked. there were no real lines yet, so we just plopped down as close to the barriers where the lines *would* be as we could. it was only about 2:30 when we got there, so we had a solid 2 hour wait till the doors would open. This was the first time Scott and i had met Jeff, and we both took an instant liking to him, and i have to say, seeing my beloved and precious sister so happy just filled me with joy. Plus, the kid was incredibly patient with my hyperactive newsboys prattle. :-)
Sidewalk Prophets and Chris August came out around 4 to mingle with the fans, and i i met the former and got pics with the latter. at 4:30, they let us in, and we grabbed seats that turned out to give us an absolutely perfect view of everything. WIN!
The show started at 5, with Jason Castro, of American Idol fame. his set was shot and sweet, and i enjoyed it. i love this guy on Idol, and i was so excited to see him in this setting. immediately after Jason finished, they called for the youth ministry folks to come to the meeting. this was my chance to give Duncan the hat i had crocheted him as a birthday gift, and i was really excited. at the beginning of the meeting, Tony Nolan spoke, then Jason Castro came in and thanked us for what we do, and was jsut a really sweet guy. when he finished, he sweetly took a picture with me and gave me a hug. :-) Next was Jon Micah from Kutless, who seemed SO accessible and again thankful for what we do. hearing that from these artists, means a lot. i got a pic with him too. David Crowder came in and shared similar stuff and again i was humbled- i am soooo thankful for these guys and their ministries, and it is so cool to hear that they are thankful for me too! Then...
Duncan slipped in the door i was (convieniently) standing by- All sunglasses, smiles, and joyful energy. i touched him on the arm and whispered "Duncan!" he turned, threw his arms around me and whisper shouted! "Hey Mae!!! How ARE you, Sweetheart? SOOOOOO good to SEE you!!! Look at YOU!" i told him my shirt had come just in time and he was thrilled, and then i gave him the hat. HE LOVED IT! He laughed at the mohawk, was touched that i;d made it for him, and hugged me another 3-4 times before jumping on the lil stage to talk to the group. i video'd his hilarious and charismatic speeh- then he got off stage, posed for pics with me, "Oh yes! we Have to do this!" after seeing the pic "OH! THAT is MONEY! Look at us!!!" Hugged me super close again, and was off! It was probably less than 2 minutes of contact with him but that man showed me so much love in that time- and THAT is why i love him and his band. i listnened, swathed in a pink glow of contentment and excitement to the rest of the meeting, and then fushed back to my seat to enjoy the concert. i had missed part of Red, which was a bummer, but when i told Scott how it had gone with Duncan, he hugged me tight cuz he knew how much it all meant.
Red was great. KJ 52 was the emcee for the night, and all his interludes were fantastic. I think newsong was up next, and tough they are not my favorite, i think they put on an very enrgetic show. Tony Nolan spoke, and then Francesca Battisteli took her turn. i REALLY enjoyed her. Next was David Crowder Band. i think this tied with the next act for my second favorite of the night. there was an talk about sponsoring children, then an intermission. After intermission was Kutless. this set, like Crowder's was absolutely perfect. Just wonderful. then- FINALLY it was time for my Newsboys.
This set was everything i'd hoped and waited for. they sang almost all songs from the new album, and their entrance was to die for. These guys have always been known for their stage shows, and the current one has kicked it up soooo many notches! i'll probably be posting video in the coming days, but here is a teaser- straight from the lips of Duncan: "at one point, the whole band will be flying around the arena!"
The MOMENT they left the stage, i booked it over to get in line for autographs. i was fairly close to the beginning of the line, which was good, cuz we had to get some rest before an early start to get home today. When i got up to the table, i saw Jeff Frankenstein (yup, real name) yawning. i realized yet again how worn out these guys must get on the road. i said "aww, Jeff, you look, so tired!" he said "really? thanks...i guess i am a little tired..." (i hope i didn't irritate him, i was jsut tryin to be sympathetic...) then i moved on to Duncan, who, when he saw me said "Awww.... here coumes Trouble!!!", Grabbed my hand in both his, said "How was it, Darling?", to which i responded "AMAZING- as ALWAYS!" and he grinned at me and said "Good, thank you SO much for coming out, and have a GREAT night, okay?" before moving on to the girls behind me. Now- came something else i was excited for- i had brought Jody Davis' solo album with me, and i was thrilled to put it in front of the soft spoken and incredibly kind guitarrist. he was really happy to see it, and elbowed Michael Tait next to him to show him. Michael kinda teased him a little, and i reminded them that a similar moment had played out last year when i mentioned having the album. Michael muttered something about "shoulda brought my album too!" what i didnt notice, was that as i was chatting with Jody, michael SIGNED the album- when i looked down to pick up both CDs, i said "Michael Tait! you signed Jody's CD!!!!" to which he responded with a shrug "I dont mind!" Jody turned his head and gaped at him. i didnt wanna be a hog, so i said "i love you guys, thanks SO much! goodnight!" to which they all responded "Night!" Yeah... i love my Newsboys... and i'm thinking next time i'll take Michael's solo album for him to sign- and get Jody to sign that too. jsut to make it fair. ;-)we got to hang out with my mom a little while when we got back, wich was good. amazingly i was able to sleep after all that somehow, and we woke early to get home at 8:30 this morning.
Pictures will be posted SOON!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Why I am a Twi-hard
Ok, so people ask me and tease me all the time about liking Twilight. i always respond that my reasons for liking the series are not the typical. Finally, i'm going to attempt to explain myself. first, let me share some conclusions i've come to about why most Twilight fans are fans.
In my mind there are 2 categories: 1: the preteen/teenage fan (and a few women my age that share this reasoning too) who loves the fairy tale and dreams of this flawless, perfect, and for most, unattainable love that comes so young for Bella. They hope that the fantasy can come true for them.Pluss there are pretty boys to look at. 2: the Twi-moms-( if you are one, please don't be offended by my generalization- this is just what i have observed) who love it because they are at a point in their lives where reality is very very real and in many cases, far from a fairy tale romantically. for them, Twilight is an escape back into the fantasy of love they dreamed of when they were young. Plus, there are pretty boys to look at.
I believe that in many cases entertainment is what we bring to it. i'll get into what i bring to it in a minute, but first, let me illustrate what i mean- and you can sontrast the following view with my own. i have a friend who has some major issues with wilight because of her own life experience and relational past. she was in an abusive controlling relationship, so the actions that i see in Edward as protective and caring, if slightly paranoid at times, she sees as darker- manipulative and controlling. she has been treated this way by someone who was just awful to her, so that's what she gets out of it and i understand that. but it's her opinion, just like the following is mine, based on my relational experience.
Ok, so i tell people i like Twilight because it bears many many similarities to my own story of young love and marriage. they often respond with an eyeroll and one of 2 questions: "oh, so Scott is a Vampire?" or "Oh, does Scott Sparkle?" and i get exasperated. no, he is not a Vampire, he does not sparkle, no my guy best friend when i was young was not a werewolf, my life has never been in danger from other people like scott... yadda yadda. but here are some notes i took off the top of my head this morning to illustrate what i mean:
Twilight
-physical similarity to Bella
-age similarity
-clumsy
-new girl in town
-not great relationship when we first met-but strangely drawn to him-roller coaster friendship phase- never sure he even liked me much till ge told me he loved me.
-he is frustrated by my clumsiness
-my dad is like Charlie-not super expressive but protective and loves me to bits- was never entirely sure of what to make of us
-his family larger and very different from mine, but very accepting, loving, embracing-I fit right in.
-he is a musician.wrote me a song on piano
-met a guy around the same time who I became close friends with-who was also a possible romantic interest who "made sense" for me, but I just didn't feel as strongly about him.
-Bella and I love the same books-particularly Austen.
-Scott and my physical relationship very similar-intense but chaste and abstinent
-he's always made me feel I'm the only woman he notices.
-I've never understood why he loves me-he feels so above me, and it boggles my mind he'd want me. In the beginning this made me constantly think he'd get tired of me, or wake up and realize he was too good for me.
-Debussy-particularly Clair de lune.
-he likes hiking. I'm far too clumsy.
-we went to prom together.
New moon-
-it was Scott's family that threw my 18th Bday party.
- Scott broke up with me at one point "for my own Good" I was a disaster the entire time we were broken up. Just as bad as Bella. Truly. During this time, my best guy friend was my rock- I knew he had feelings for me, but I only wanted Scott back. Fortunately, unlike Jacob, my friend respected this. When Scott and I got back together it was even better than before.
Eclipse:
-Scott and I got engaged at 18
-I am, like Bella, the more physically aggressive one.
Breaking Dawn
-got married very young, against all the odds and people questioning whether it was too soon.
-wedding night chapter very similar to our wedding night-esp with Bella feeling totally lost as to how things would go. Literally had the same thoughts as her.
-being married was immediately right and natural.
This is by no means a complete list, and if i read the books through and took notes i'm certain i could come up with a few hundred more, including quotes and moments, but these examples serve to illustrate the reason i love twilight. for me it reminds me that sometimes fairy tales do happen, and while my relationship isn't perfect (really, neither was Edward and Bella's- they fought often!) i'm incredibly happy in it and i love remembering where we came from. so there. :-)
In my mind there are 2 categories: 1: the preteen/teenage fan (and a few women my age that share this reasoning too) who loves the fairy tale and dreams of this flawless, perfect, and for most, unattainable love that comes so young for Bella. They hope that the fantasy can come true for them.Pluss there are pretty boys to look at. 2: the Twi-moms-( if you are one, please don't be offended by my generalization- this is just what i have observed) who love it because they are at a point in their lives where reality is very very real and in many cases, far from a fairy tale romantically. for them, Twilight is an escape back into the fantasy of love they dreamed of when they were young. Plus, there are pretty boys to look at.
I believe that in many cases entertainment is what we bring to it. i'll get into what i bring to it in a minute, but first, let me illustrate what i mean- and you can sontrast the following view with my own. i have a friend who has some major issues with wilight because of her own life experience and relational past. she was in an abusive controlling relationship, so the actions that i see in Edward as protective and caring, if slightly paranoid at times, she sees as darker- manipulative and controlling. she has been treated this way by someone who was just awful to her, so that's what she gets out of it and i understand that. but it's her opinion, just like the following is mine, based on my relational experience.
Ok, so i tell people i like Twilight because it bears many many similarities to my own story of young love and marriage. they often respond with an eyeroll and one of 2 questions: "oh, so Scott is a Vampire?" or "Oh, does Scott Sparkle?" and i get exasperated. no, he is not a Vampire, he does not sparkle, no my guy best friend when i was young was not a werewolf, my life has never been in danger from other people like scott... yadda yadda. but here are some notes i took off the top of my head this morning to illustrate what i mean:
Twilight
-physical similarity to Bella
-age similarity
-clumsy
-new girl in town
-not great relationship when we first met-but strangely drawn to him-roller coaster friendship phase- never sure he even liked me much till ge told me he loved me.
-he is frustrated by my clumsiness
-my dad is like Charlie-not super expressive but protective and loves me to bits- was never entirely sure of what to make of us
-his family larger and very different from mine, but very accepting, loving, embracing-I fit right in.
-he is a musician.wrote me a song on piano
-met a guy around the same time who I became close friends with-who was also a possible romantic interest who "made sense" for me, but I just didn't feel as strongly about him.
-Bella and I love the same books-particularly Austen.
-Scott and my physical relationship very similar-intense but chaste and abstinent
-he's always made me feel I'm the only woman he notices.
-I've never understood why he loves me-he feels so above me, and it boggles my mind he'd want me. In the beginning this made me constantly think he'd get tired of me, or wake up and realize he was too good for me.
-Debussy-particularly Clair de lune.
-he likes hiking. I'm far too clumsy.
-we went to prom together.
New moon-
-it was Scott's family that threw my 18th Bday party.
- Scott broke up with me at one point "for my own Good" I was a disaster the entire time we were broken up. Just as bad as Bella. Truly. During this time, my best guy friend was my rock- I knew he had feelings for me, but I only wanted Scott back. Fortunately, unlike Jacob, my friend respected this. When Scott and I got back together it was even better than before.
Eclipse:
-Scott and I got engaged at 18
-I am, like Bella, the more physically aggressive one.
Breaking Dawn
-got married very young, against all the odds and people questioning whether it was too soon.
-wedding night chapter very similar to our wedding night-esp with Bella feeling totally lost as to how things would go. Literally had the same thoughts as her.
-being married was immediately right and natural.
This is by no means a complete list, and if i read the books through and took notes i'm certain i could come up with a few hundred more, including quotes and moments, but these examples serve to illustrate the reason i love twilight. for me it reminds me that sometimes fairy tales do happen, and while my relationship isn't perfect (really, neither was Edward and Bella's- they fought often!) i'm incredibly happy in it and i love remembering where we came from. so there. :-)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
i am a C- i am a C-H...
okay, so many of you know over the past few years i've been through some things. and stuff. some of it happened to me, some of it i made happen with selfish choices. that's not what i'm blogging about though. i'm here to share a thought process that has really had me tied up awhile.
a few months ago, a close friend (who is not a christian but has a church backround) told me that she struggled during my darker days with me openly claiming to be a Christian- assumedly because of some of the ways i was living my life- this really took me aback, because though internally i was a mess, publically i was still living a "pretty clean" life- one that i certainly didn't expect a non christian to be offended by. Furthermore, my faith never ceased to be very important to me- EVER- even at my worst, most sinful and selfish times. i was not walking the way i talked consistently, and i was definitely living more to please myself than to please God, but my faith and belief in Jesus was never for a moment voided.
So i started thinking. the break here was between my friend's definition of what it means to call oneself a Christian and mine.
i'm not prepared enough to quote chapter and verse on the biblical definition of a Christian right now and i don't think that's the spirit of this internal discussion. i know i'm a Christian based on that- but what the world sees and what makes me live for Christ is more than that "dictionary definition.
What a lot of the churched and unchurched world defines christianity by is a long list of rules. of do's and don'ts, and "things we don't do" in the name of following Jesus. that is SO not what it's about. i'm not gonna get into a discussion of legalism here because that is its own blog post, but let me say this. Jesus cares so much more about what's in our hearts than the motions we go through to prove we are His.
In my heart, the definition of being a Christian is this: I believe Jesus is the Son of God. i believe he died and rose again for my sins. i am so thankful for this sacrifice that i seek with my life to honor Him, glorify Him, and love like He loves. does it mean i am successful at this all the time? NO. does it mean i don't fall and fall HARD into doing things my own way at times? NO! what it means is that i am a wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked sinner who has been saved by grace and daily must die to self to live for Christ. no matter how selfish and sinful i am at times, that fact does not change. i would never claim to be better than anyone else- i'm not. i fall hard sometimes. Truth is, i'm held to a higher standard because as my mom would say, i've all the powers of heaven and earth at my disposal and i still sin. sigh.
an example of what i'm talking about is a recording i heard of an old drunk man singing "Jesus' blood never failed me yet" this guy is speaking the truth he knows in his heart and that he believes- but he's wasted. his drunkenness doesnt change what he believes or that he believes it- he;s jsut not being a consistent witness for Christ in this state- and i beleive that is really what my friend was talking about- i was hurting my witness through some of my actions.
The upside here- what can help my witness- and yours too if you're a Christ follower who sins like i do- is humility. i feel like the fact that God picks me up when i fall down and makes something beautiful out of my muck brings Him more glory and makes the gospel more accessible- being a christian doesnt mean you're perfect- it means you're loved anyway and can climb out of the messes you make.
this song has come to mean a lot to me and i think it describes the Christian walk beautifully:
a few months ago, a close friend (who is not a christian but has a church backround) told me that she struggled during my darker days with me openly claiming to be a Christian- assumedly because of some of the ways i was living my life- this really took me aback, because though internally i was a mess, publically i was still living a "pretty clean" life- one that i certainly didn't expect a non christian to be offended by. Furthermore, my faith never ceased to be very important to me- EVER- even at my worst, most sinful and selfish times. i was not walking the way i talked consistently, and i was definitely living more to please myself than to please God, but my faith and belief in Jesus was never for a moment voided.
So i started thinking. the break here was between my friend's definition of what it means to call oneself a Christian and mine.
i'm not prepared enough to quote chapter and verse on the biblical definition of a Christian right now and i don't think that's the spirit of this internal discussion. i know i'm a Christian based on that- but what the world sees and what makes me live for Christ is more than that "dictionary definition.
What a lot of the churched and unchurched world defines christianity by is a long list of rules. of do's and don'ts, and "things we don't do" in the name of following Jesus. that is SO not what it's about. i'm not gonna get into a discussion of legalism here because that is its own blog post, but let me say this. Jesus cares so much more about what's in our hearts than the motions we go through to prove we are His.
In my heart, the definition of being a Christian is this: I believe Jesus is the Son of God. i believe he died and rose again for my sins. i am so thankful for this sacrifice that i seek with my life to honor Him, glorify Him, and love like He loves. does it mean i am successful at this all the time? NO. does it mean i don't fall and fall HARD into doing things my own way at times? NO! what it means is that i am a wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked sinner who has been saved by grace and daily must die to self to live for Christ. no matter how selfish and sinful i am at times, that fact does not change. i would never claim to be better than anyone else- i'm not. i fall hard sometimes. Truth is, i'm held to a higher standard because as my mom would say, i've all the powers of heaven and earth at my disposal and i still sin. sigh.
an example of what i'm talking about is a recording i heard of an old drunk man singing "Jesus' blood never failed me yet" this guy is speaking the truth he knows in his heart and that he believes- but he's wasted. his drunkenness doesnt change what he believes or that he believes it- he;s jsut not being a consistent witness for Christ in this state- and i beleive that is really what my friend was talking about- i was hurting my witness through some of my actions.
The upside here- what can help my witness- and yours too if you're a Christ follower who sins like i do- is humility. i feel like the fact that God picks me up when i fall down and makes something beautiful out of my muck brings Him more glory and makes the gospel more accessible- being a christian doesnt mean you're perfect- it means you're loved anyway and can climb out of the messes you make.
this song has come to mean a lot to me and i think it describes the Christian walk beautifully:
Thursday, October 21, 2010
It's tomorrow! This is FOR REAL!
As i lie down for bed last night i started to feel like all this was finally real. i mean i know Mandi is a real person, and anyone who saw a picture would know she is my sister. but i have dreamed and ached to meet her for as long as she has been alive. (note: Adam, if you're reading this, you know i am dying to spend some time with you and Ricki too, but there is a totally different bond with sisters. :-) i love you too and you will always be my FIRST sibling!) because i wanted to mark this moment, and didn't have time or energy to write this post right then, i posted this on Facebook:
Winding down. Trying not to wind up when I think of this next bit:
I woke up this morning to a whole host of facebook notifications, but the one that sent me to view this was my favorite.
then, i clicked over to her facebook profile and saw this status message:
Again, i was floored and touched! When Mandi was born, the six year old Mae was so excited that she was finally going to have a little sister who she could do everything with. we would be best friends and inseparable and life would be a fairy tale. This bubble was sharply popped when, a few months later i came to understand the terms of my being adopted- which of course was the best thing and i have no complaints-and was promised that if i wanted to find my sister and brother when i grew up i would have help from my mama. from then on, i hoped and wanted the relationship i;d dreamed of for Mandi and i, but it seemed like a longshot that i would ever even find her, and if i did would she want to know me? and the longest shot of all would be her wanting to be close to me and love me like i love her. but y'know, now i have all of it. i have fantastic relationships with Christina and Melissa, and this takes nothing at all from them, but there is a definite sense of completeness now.
i've put off all the packing and prep till now (2:45 Thursday afternoon) because i know myself and i know it will help ease the antsy this afternoon and evening to have something to do. expect a looooong blog post or series of posts on this weekend with tons of pictures. i cannot wait!
Winding down. Trying not to wind up when I think of this next bit:
Mandi: when we wake up tomorrow we will only have a day and a few hours left apart! I love you!
I woke up this morning to a whole host of facebook notifications, but the one that sent me to view this was my favorite.
Mandi Kelly Maegan: in one day and a few hours I will have the whole weekend with my sister!! You have no idea how excited I am! I've waited my whole life to meet u! N now I have my sister!! Yaaay! I'm so freakin excited! I love u!
Even re-reading it now my eyes well up. my own joy at finding my sister is huge, and even if she was merely happy to meet me i would be thrilled. but look at this! she is just as excited and happy as i am! i am overjoyed. i have no words for how happy this makes me!then, i clicked over to her facebook profile and saw this status message:
Friday can't get here fast enough!! Get to spend the weekend with my sister I havnt ever gotten to meet! Holy crap!!!
Again, i was floored and touched! When Mandi was born, the six year old Mae was so excited that she was finally going to have a little sister who she could do everything with. we would be best friends and inseparable and life would be a fairy tale. This bubble was sharply popped when, a few months later i came to understand the terms of my being adopted- which of course was the best thing and i have no complaints-and was promised that if i wanted to find my sister and brother when i grew up i would have help from my mama. from then on, i hoped and wanted the relationship i;d dreamed of for Mandi and i, but it seemed like a longshot that i would ever even find her, and if i did would she want to know me? and the longest shot of all would be her wanting to be close to me and love me like i love her. but y'know, now i have all of it. i have fantastic relationships with Christina and Melissa, and this takes nothing at all from them, but there is a definite sense of completeness now.
i've put off all the packing and prep till now (2:45 Thursday afternoon) because i know myself and i know it will help ease the antsy this afternoon and evening to have something to do. expect a looooong blog post or series of posts on this weekend with tons of pictures. i cannot wait!
Friday, October 15, 2010
One week!
well, less,really, because this time next friday night i will be with my sister! it seems so surreal to think about after all this time, but it is actually happening. weare both beside ourselves with excitement.
here's a snippet of our convertation a little bit ago:
so, yeah, it;s gonna be a Squee fest! then, in another month, Scott and i are travelling to GA for Thanksgiving with Mandi's whole family (minus Adam and his wife, Ricki, who i am dying to meet!), and i cannot wait for that. i have missed Nana and Martie so much, and can;t wait to meet Morgan and Sean and all the other relatives i haven't met or seen in ages! be prepared for this blog to explode!
here's a snippet of our convertation a little bit ago:
hey babe
[Mandi Kelly]
6:19pm
hiii
[You]
6:19pm
i have your name on mah finger!
:-):-)
[Mandi Kelly]
6:20pm
ahhhhh!! i want my ring im so freakin excited
[You]
6:20pm
this time in a week we will be together!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Mandi Kelly]
6:20pm
ahhhhhh!!!
[You]
6:21pm
i know!!!
[Mandi Kelly]
6:22pm
i cant wait
[You]
6:22pm
i told Adam and he was like... "fun"
i was like boy i will hit you
[Mandi Kelly]
6:22pm
lol
we have to take like 400 pictures
[You]
6:23pm
YES
so, yeah, it;s gonna be a Squee fest! then, in another month, Scott and i are travelling to GA for Thanksgiving with Mandi's whole family (minus Adam and his wife, Ricki, who i am dying to meet!), and i cannot wait for that. i have missed Nana and Martie so much, and can;t wait to meet Morgan and Sean and all the other relatives i haven't met or seen in ages! be prepared for this blog to explode!
Back on the trail!
Scott LOVES backpacking. i love Scott, and i hadn't been up to taking a hiking trip in over 4 years, so when our plans to visit Mandi 3 weekends ago fell thru, we decided to take the opportunity to get out there. we planned a 2 night trip, starting with a trail i had done before, Mount Pleasant.
I look ready, Right?
and, we were off. the first hour of hiking went really smoothly, and i enjoyed pretty much every second. the second hour was a bit tougher, as the trail was pretty steep and didn't really let up for a mile or so. Scott was really patient, though, and finally we got to our campsite!
After we got our campsite set up, and i rested a little, we were ready to take on the Summit!
My facial expression in this pic says it all- we had hiked for probably 45 minutes to get to this point, and we had about another 5 min hike to get to one overlook, and anotehr 15 to get to the other....i was not so sure...
but, we made it! i was not interested in going to the edge, though, so scott took this shot of me from his perch- me safely behind some rocks.
and here is my mountaineer, right on the edge of the cliff!
And together! YAY!
We had a great evening out under the stars, with steak and mashed potatoes grilled over the fire, roasted marshmallows, and a cozy night in our tent. we woke up to lots of rain, and had a feeling that since we were going to be unable to have a fire with all the wet wood, we would have to cut our trip short.
we finished the trail, though, and it was really fun even with the rain! we plan on hitting the trail again early thanksgiving week!
I look ready, Right?
and, we were off. the first hour of hiking went really smoothly, and i enjoyed pretty much every second. the second hour was a bit tougher, as the trail was pretty steep and didn't really let up for a mile or so. Scott was really patient, though, and finally we got to our campsite!
After we got our campsite set up, and i rested a little, we were ready to take on the Summit!
My facial expression in this pic says it all- we had hiked for probably 45 minutes to get to this point, and we had about another 5 min hike to get to one overlook, and anotehr 15 to get to the other....i was not so sure...
but, we made it! i was not interested in going to the edge, though, so scott took this shot of me from his perch- me safely behind some rocks.
and here is my mountaineer, right on the edge of the cliff!
And together! YAY!
We had a great evening out under the stars, with steak and mashed potatoes grilled over the fire, roasted marshmallows, and a cozy night in our tent. we woke up to lots of rain, and had a feeling that since we were going to be unable to have a fire with all the wet wood, we would have to cut our trip short.
we finished the trail, though, and it was really fun even with the rain! we plan on hitting the trail again early thanksgiving week!
Let's Not Forget...
These are the siblings i grew up with. in all the excitement of reconnecting with long lost family, i want to make sure i don't forget the family that has been in my life for the past 22 years. other than my husband and my parents, these are the people i love most on this earth.
Christina is almost 20, a nanny, a model, works part time at a surf shop, and is going to school. So proud of all she juggles, and thrilled that now, i think in part because we are both grown women, we are truly becoming friends. gone are the days of sibling rivalry...i hope! I LOVE YOU BEANZIE!
Melissa is easily my best friend on earth after Scott.Musical, talented, and with a heart hungry to serve God, she blows me away. Since the day she was born she has been my baby and had my back and been my crying shoulder and encourager. We are 10 years apart in age, but she is wise and mature beyond her 18 years. She is the best.
Andrew is the best baby brother a girl could want. He adores me, respects me, and is always thrilled to see me, which jsut melts an old lady sister's heart. at 16 he is solidly a good 5-6 inches taller than i am, so it;s kinda cool to see my little baby brother dwarf me.
So, now you have met my Thompson sibs!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Sister Rings
In one of our early conversations, Mandi mentioned that she would love for she and i to have sister rings. This was something i jumped at the opportunity to do, since i am very sentimental and also love jewelry with a lot of meaning behind it. a few weeks ago i got the cash together and ordered them, and today they came.
The stones are our birthstone~ Ruby- our birthdays are only 4 days apart! and Though each of us goes by a shortened version of our name, we chose to have our full first names engraved on either side of the ring. :-) I am looking forward to giving Mandi her ring in a week when we go to SC to see her for the first time EVER!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
